The dating scene is exciting, confusing and sometimes complicated. Between campus life, social media, hookups, relationships and pressure from peers, many young people are navigating sexual health conversations without enough honest information or support. One topic that is rarely discussed openly is stealthing

What Is Stealthing?

Stealthing happens when someone secretly removes, damages, or refuses to use a condom during sex after both partners agreed to protected sex. This is a serious violation of consent and trust. Agreeing to protected sex does not mean agreeing to unprotected sex. Once the agreed protection changes without consent, the situation becomes unsafe and non-consensual.

The Risk of “Hidden” STIs

One reason stealthing is especially dangerous is because many STIs do not show immediate symptoms. A person may look healthy, feel healthy, and still have an infection without knowing it. Some common STIs can remain “silent” for long periods, including: Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, HPV, Trichomoniasis and HIV in early stages.

This means someone cannot know their STI status based on appearance alone.Regular testing and early treatment are important parts of sexual and reproductive health care.

Talking About Protection and Setting Boundaries

For many young people, discussing condoms can feel awkward or uncomfortable. Some people fear being judged, losing the relationship or appearing distrustful. However, protecting your health is not disrespectful. Healthy relationships should allow open conversations about protection, STI testing, Consent, Boundaries and Sexual health history. Anyone who pressures you to ignore your boundaries is not respecting your wellbeing.

One of the safest ways to protect yourself is to discuss protection before sexual activity begins. Having the conversation earlier can reduce pressure in the moment and make boundaries clearer. You can say things like; “I only have sex with protection.” , “Testing and condoms are important to me.” , “I’m not comfortable continuing without a condom.” or “Let’s talk about this first.” Clear communication is part of healthy consent.

Why Regular STI Screening Matters

Regular STI screening is a normal part of healthcare for sexually active people.

Testing helps, detect infections early, prevent complications, protect partners and support early treatment. Many clinics and youth-friendly health centers in Kenya offer confidential STI and HIV testing services.

Getting tested does not mean someone is “dirty” or irresponsible. It means they are taking their health seriously.

Taking Control of Your Future

Navigating relationships and dating is a big part of growing up, but nothing is more important than your own safety and peace of mind. Stealthing and other violations of consent are serious and they highlight why clear communication about boundaries is so vital. Many STIs don't show symptoms, relying on trust or how someone looks isn't enough to stay safe.

Protecting yourself means consistently using condoms and making regular STI testing a normal part of your health routine. Choosing to prioritize your health isn't about a lack of trust - it's about respecting yourself and your future. Don't wait for a reason to check in on your health. Take the lead in your sexual wellbeing by scheduling an STI screening at a youth-friendly clinic today. Your health is your responsibility and seeking support is the most empowered move you can make.